12 Years Without Jiah Khan

I still remember waking up on  June 3 in 2013  to  a message sent  in the night from an editor. “Apparently Jiah Khan is dead. Can you check?”

I didn’t know her well.  Nobody did. She came  and went  like  a passing breeze. The leaves  barely stirred before  the  stillnesss crept in.Sadly  she left without  any  mark  in the movies,  though her death left a big scar  on the  life of her  boyfriend Sooraj Pancholi. Jiah’s mother continues  to believe Sooraj to be  responsible  for  her death.

I  believe we are all responsible  for our own lives.  If we  allow  others to dictate  our destiny we only prove  our weaknesss,  not their strength. If you end your life you can’t blame anyone  for it.It is  your choice. In my opinion  Jiah chose death.She  didn’t  have a  happy life, I can tell you that  much.Whenever  she would call me there was  forced gaiety in her voice. The  effervescent conversation  was  laced  with  ‘Darling’ and  ‘Sweetie’,

She  was  warm affectionate   girl who wanted  all the things  that girl her  age  want:  stardom, money, a steady  boyfriend,a supportive family.  I   don’t think she  got  any  of  these.Jiah did   only  three  films. And she was  subjected to  harassment and  ridicule on the sets of one of them. She would  return  home crying from the shooting. She had no fun doing this film.

Jiah  didn’t want be in the film  industry. It  wasn’t her scene  at  all.She was miserable. We all knew she wanted  out. But she couldn’t.

Why did Jiah Khan have to go so young? Apparently a stormy love affair did her in. But she was also very disheartened by the lack of progress in her career.A producer friend of Jiah’s who wishes to remain unnamed said, “She got the biggest breaks. In her first film she was paired with Bachchan Saab…Which 19 year old with no Bollywood connections gets that privilege? Her second  film was  with Aamir Khan…And third film with Akshay Kumar. But nothing happened to her career.She was very depressed by the lack of  progress and was trying to understand why even Ram Gopal Varma, known to repeatedly work with his  discoveries like Antara Mali and Priyanka Kothari shunned Jiah after the stunning performance in Nishabd.”

According to this friend, Jiah was specially hurt when she was thrown out of Ken Ghosh’s Chance Pe Dance and overnight replaced by Genelia d’Souza.

“She was trying to make sense of her career. I also heard she was in a relationship that wasn’t getting anywhere. I guess she couldn’t take the pressure. Sad, because she was a really warm and friendly girl,” says the producer-friend.

Jiah made a bold and aggressive start with Ram Gopal Varna’s Nishabd where she played a 19-year in love with a  60-year old man.That her co-star was the Big B didn’t intimidate this Londoner in Bollywood at all .I remember how she would exchange jokes on the sets with her mighty co-star.She also told me that Mr B was one of the nicest-smelling guys she had ever met.

When the film bombed Jiah told me she had no regrets at all. “I agree our audiences are still very conservative and Nishabd was a very bold subject. Even in the West Lolita created a huge controversy although they are no strangers to sex and nudity. For me Nishabd was a challenge because I got to work with Mr. Bachchan and Mr. Varma so early in my career. And to be doing a central role in a film featuring Mr. Bachchan. It made me what I am. So I am grateful,” she said

Jiah shunned networking practices to further her career.

She told me, “Not that I’m a recluse. But at this age, I don’t want to get unnecessarily influenced by the wrong kind of people. Once I’m 30 and achieved what I’ve set out to, I can visit all the night places that I want to.As long as you’re respectful to people who are older and more experienced, there’s no need to try to fit in.”

Jiah came into Bollywood with no one to advice her. She told me once, “Being so young and coming into the industry with no knowledge of how it worked, I picked an unconventional role as my debut. No regrets. I maintained my distance after Nishabd. I waited for the right opportunity. For Ghajini, I did an audition. It was a long process.And if you consider the fact that I started my career with Mr Bachchan as my hero, I got two generations of remarkably talented co-stars in my first two films.”

Jiah felt equally comfortable with all every generation of actors. “I can get along equally well with someone 16 or 60. It’s a gift, I guess. I really think I’m lucky. As for my so-called audacious launch, I was very comfortable with my role in Nishabd. Maybe other people weren’t. It didn’t affect me beyond a point. If they reacted violently against my relationship with Mr Bachchan in Nishabd, then good. Aggressive reaction is far better than indifference”

She was hurt when she was sacked from Ken Ghosh’s film.

Uncharacteristically subdued she had mumbled, “I’m new to all this. I keep to myself and I’ve no idea what people do in this industry. I am here only to work.”

What really happened to Jiah?  Blaming Sooraj for her death  is  just a making  a  convenient  scapegoat  out of him.  Maybe  they shared a volatile  relationship. But there is really no mystery about the nature  of her death. Actresses  have died  under far  more mysterious  circumstances. We have accepted the tragedy and  moved.  Why  don’t we  give Jiah’s brief bright  burnished life  a closure?

I remember speaking on the day  of her  death   to the man who  gave  her her only  worthwhile film. For once  Ram Gopal  Varma  was  shaken. He may not strike his friends as an emotional man. But the death of Jiah Khan  triggered off a yearning for the past that this self-confessed cynic never felt before.When Jiah’s family held a condolence meeting at Juhu, Ramu, true to his image, didn’t turn up to bid his protégée farewell. Instead he made a 2-minute film as a tribute to the spirited actress who in her very first film, stole  the Big B’s heart.

The  short film which Ramu has titled  ‘The Reel & The Reality Of  Jiah’ catches Jiah at her most reflective and resplendent.The film was gifted to Jiah’s mother and sisters  who apparently were deeply moved by the efforts Ramu had made to capture Jiah’s most effervescent moments in Nishabd.

Subdued and thoughtful Ramu said, “Ironically her character in the film feels life should be taken lightly. It is advice that Jiah couldn’t follow in her own life.I couldn’t bring myself to  attend any memorial for  Jiah. For me she will always be alive.I decided to put together this tribute. When I was looking at her in Nishabd again I was struck by how spontaneous she was on screen…and not the least intimidated by Mr Bachchan! I can’t get believe  she is gone.”

Ramu regrets not being able to live up to his high opinion of Jiah’s talent. “I should’ve worked with her again. But we had both set such high standards for each other in Nishabd. I couldn’t come up with a role to equal that one for Jiah.And I haven’t made any film as heartfelt as Nishabd.”

The last I heard from her was when she was in Patna for an event. I invited her home. She promised she would definitely come home the next time.That was not meant to be.