7 Glaring Absurdities In Ae Dil Hai Mushkil

1. Kiss Kissssss Kiss-se Pyar Karoon:  Ranbir Kapoor meets Anushka Sharma in a pub. They  kiss and try to make out. But she finds him a clumsy kisser. Soooooo…does Alize decide to have Ayan as a friend and not a lover only because he messed up on their first date? What if he was good kisser/lover? Would the Emraan Hashmi jokes have melted ?Would the course of  the Aliza-Ayan relationship have been any different?

2.  Pram Jaye Par Bachchan Na Jaye:  “I got a  baby without a pram,” chuckles Anushka to her soutan Aishwarya Rai Bachchan during a dinner chat when the latter wonders why any woman would abandon a man as charming as the aforementioned baby without a pram who sprawls  on the sidewalk and bawls when his girlfriend two-times him. Which woman on earth would tolerate such a rich spoilt tantrum thrower?  And yet Karan  Johar expects  us to empathize with Ayan, and to root for him as he struggles uphill to find a woman who loves him.

3. Angoor Khatte Nahin Hain: Ayan is in the first-class lounge to take flight from Alize’s wedding to the man she loves. He has just shown  the middle finger to the woman who won’t  be his bride and is now behaving like a drunken lout in a restricted elitist area where he boldly and shamelessly walks up to a lady asking she let him sit next to her. Instead of  snubbing him  the lady allows him to sit next to her and soon hop into bed with her.A pure case of misogyny attracting a certain kind of women.

4.  It’s all about loving oneself: There is  no family for either Alize or Ayan anywhere in sight. Not a hint of a parivar, not even a distant cousin. Quite  a long way from Karan Johar’s  ‘All About Loving The Family’. This one is all about loving oneself . For what is unrequited love,if not a form of narcissism? If Alizehad loved Ayan back the way he wanted her to, what assurance is there that he wouldn’t have lost interest in her? We tend to crave for what we can’t get.

5.  Bollywood pe mauke pe chakka: ADHM wallows in Bollywood self-references.  Alize and Ayan pride themselves on recognizing the cheesiest of Bollywood songs and dialogues . Ayan is shown to be a Mohd Rafi fan. Yet when Ayan finally gets to do what he really wants to do with Alize(no, not screw, but sing) he  belts out a Kishore Kumar and Lata Mangeshkar Gaata rahe mera dil. This is not just an absurdity . It is an absurd ditty.

6. Alien or cancer patient?  Karan Johar should immediately sue the prosthetics team for making Alize look like an alien from outer space rather than a cancer patient.And when  Ranbir joins her with exactly the same head-style(did the prosthetics guys give  a discount on the double delight?) it becomes hard to feel anything for the dying girl except a swelling tide of laughter.

7.  Love Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry:  Anushka’s Alize is an amalgamation of  several  spirited heroines we have seen in the recent past , including Kangana Ranaut in Tanu Weds Manu & Katti Batti, Kareena Kapoor in Jab We Met and Parineeti Chopra in  Hansee Toh Phasee. But finally she is  a distant avatar of  the feisty spirited Jenny in Eric