Chala Murari Hollywood Hero Ban-ne

Mallika Sherawat ,Aishwarya Rai Bachchan , Priyanka  Chopra….Bollywood is crazy about getting noticed abroad .

Years ago Shabana Azmi was all charged about  being signed by Blake Edwards for a Pink Panther movie. So were all her diehard fans, like yours truly.  Finally her role turned out to be as minuscule as  Mallika’s clothes.

   “But I got paid handsomely  and was treated like a true princess,”  Shabana still defends what’s arguably her most embarrassing international sojourn.  Would Shabana have done her 10-minute evil princess’  act in a Bollywood film?

 Long ago  Mallika was offered an item song for Varma’s James. She told the producer she would do it if there was  a  nice meaty role attached to  the song.

 Ramu  got Riya Sen  to do the  item.

      Wait, one is a little lost here. Mallika  had a  problem doing an  item  song  for Ram Gopal Varma.  She  had no problems being seen  doing practically nothing in a  Jackie Chan  flick. Strange!

  Not only that, when  Chan had chugged to Bollywood for  one days’ promotional tour for The Myth, Ms Sherawat  clung to his arm like a life-boat. She made it quite clear that  she  wanted to be seen with Jackie in every frame   of the photographers’  lenses. And she went to extreme lengths to make sure she was Jackie’s girl for  the 24 hours that he was here.

  Flattered out of his pants, in   manner  of speaking, Chan openly told the press corps that he  had agreed to come only because Mallika had called and pleaded with him to do so.

    This embarrassing    confession came after Chan threw more tantrums in Mumbai   than  Zsa Zsa Gabor and  Britney Spears put  together. Oh, he didn’t want to talk to the press members individually, didn’t want interactive sessions with fans….didn’t want to be in Mumbai for  more than 24 hours…didn’t want this and  that…..

  Good Lord! By the end  of  his visit ,  Chan’s Mumbai hosts were on the brink  of  a  collective nervous breakdown.   But the final straw was  the confession that he  had come only for Mallika.

Then there Oprah Winfrey. A diva,  do doubt.But the way she  stuck her nose  up in  the  air  during her  short  visit to  India, made us feel very third-world.

  Why do we take this kind of behaviour from international celebrities who grant us a bit of their precious time and attention? Achcha  chalo, at least Jackie Chan and Oprah Winfrey are  a major global players, and we could be forgiven for  falling at their feet. After all  we prefer Ben Kingsley  to Naseeruddin Shah as Gandhi.

  Even when American  porn stars Brande Roderick and Sunny Leone came  to Bollywood we rolled out the red(faced)  carpet  and blew the bugles as  though they were  Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lawrence with  silicone implants.

Worse….Meera and Veena Malik  from Pakistan  comes to our country, avail of our hospitality , get signed  for female-centric films  and go back home    to bad-mouth Bollywood and India.

    Why do we encourage the Meeras  and  Veena Maliks  of the world to behave so badly with us? Why do we need them in the first place, when we have such a fine and glamorous gallery of actors in Bollywood?

      Let’s applaud biggies  like Amitabh Bachchan, Shah Rukh Khan, Hrithik Roshan  and    Kareena  Kapoor who have repeatedly said they’ve no interest  in Hollywood and would rather devote their  time and attention on  home ground.

  The example of Aamir Khan looms large over  Bollywood. After the global success of Lagaan  he  appointed himself an Hollywood agent . Nothing  happened.

  So  the next time  you  read about some Bollywood two-bit hero claiming he has been signed by a “big Hollywood studio” to play the lead,  please tell  him to  shut up.

  Hollywood doesn’t need Bollywood stars. And we don’t really need actors from outside to  let us know what stardom  is all about.

 Because we  in India have the biggest star  in the world.  And  his name is Amitabh Bachchan.