Dear Kapil, Let Me Know When You Come Back To Earth

Dear Kapil

I know you will snigger at this letter. You will probably tell your hangers-on, chamchas and yes-men that I am jealous of your success.And never mind that I’m not a stand-up comedian and I do not aspire to make the world laugh with me.

Once upon a time, not too long ago in Laugh  Laugh Land, you ruled supreme. You still do, I guess, though I’ve stopped watching your show and many like  me have also stopped. In your journey to comic nirvana you somewhere lost your sense of equilibrium. I saw it happen. I saw the change. Almost like a physical transformation of a beast from domestic to predatory.

Something seriously went wrong in your journey to superstardom. Initially when we first interacted your show Comedy Nights WithKapil had just begun its meteoric rise. One day I got a call from your childhood friend (I wonder if he is still your friend) and he introduced us.

Kapil, you were simple, down-to-earth,unaffected by your sudden if belated success.And when I told you that I had begun to watch television again after years just to see your show, you seemed genuinely happy.That’s how our all-too-brief camaraderie started.

Kapil, you won my heart when you told me it was your ambition to bring Lataji on the show. I realized we both worshipped the Goddess Of All Melodious things. It bonded us even better. Your calls would come at the oddest hours…at 5am in the morning…when you were returning after an exhausting night of recording an episode of Kapil.I loved  the warmth in  your voice, your sincere attempts to reach out, to remain as close to your Amritsar roots as possible.

When you had differences with your television channel over Comedy Nights With Kapil you would tell me how you stood your ground  with the Bosses and let them know your worth. I loved that. We small-towners hate to be treated as walk-all-overs.

Then suddenly the calls stopped. I thought you were busy.Weeks passed, then months. I  messaged your friend to ask about you. One morning I got a call  from you and I was much relieved.Not suspecting what was coming, I asked you where you had been for nearly six months.

Your answer left me confounded.

“Iss baar toh six months mein phone  kiya agli baar six years meinphone karunga,” you said in a cold curt voice.

The change of tone was so abrupt and so contrary the kinship you have built with me that I  thought you were joking. I laughed. I got no return laughter from you.All I heard was an icy coldness, that sent a chill up my spine—not for myself but for you. I knew that you had begun to change beyond recognition.

I warned you for your own sake.But the descent into megalomania was unstoppable. Your colleagues told me about your drinking problems and how rude you had become. When your first film Kiss Kiss Ko Pyar Karoon was released there were stories of how you much you troubled the producer over the promotions.

I kept hearing of the change in you.It saddened me . One day recently I tried reaching out to you on email.Your arrogant response made me regret my reconciliatory gesture. But some hours later I  got another far more restrained and respectful response .

This confirmed my worst belief. A  lot of your recent actions have been taken when you are not in your senses.You must stop whatever you are doing before it destroys you.Your team mates are already upset with you.What will you do when those who laugh with you begin to laugh at you?

PS. Lataji wants to know what has happened to you. I don’t know what to tell her.