I feel a gnawing sorrow sometimes: Simi Garewal

Simi Garewal turned a year older on 17 October. She Speaks to Subhash K Jha

“How did I bring my birthday in? I didn’t! It just brought itself in. I did nothing about it. I don’t like my birthday to be an occasion for fanfare. In fact I hate it when too much fuss is made about it. I spent my birthday at home close to the people who matter to me. That’s the way I like it. “I’m a very private person. Even the New Years’ are spent away from crowds, though there would be some friends whom I like bringing in the new year with….How old am I? Well…on a bad day I feel 23.

On a good day I feel 17. Today is obviously a good day. I look back on my life with much satisfaction. I’ve never been satisfied with doing just one thing. I was never only an actress, or a tv anchor or whatever. And when people said I was ahead of my times I took it as a compliment. It meant I was doing things that weren’t in vogue. “As an actress many people remember me by Mera Naam Joker to this day. For others I’m more the conniving evil woman in Karz and for the rest I may be the mysterious woman in Conrad Rooks’ Siddharth or in Satyajit Ray’s Arayanar Din Ratre… When I took to tv with `It’s A Woman’s World` I never thought it would be so fulfilling. Rendezvous With Simi Garewal has been my most fulfilling endeavour…. I’ll continue to wear white. My fascination for the colour has been with me for as long as I can remember. Even as a child my best party dresses were white.

Today I can shop for clothes in other colours. I just bought myself two black suits. But I can never wear them. “If I wear any colour but white I see a stranger in the mirror…How do I look back on my life and career? With a sense of tremendous fulfillment. But I’ll be honest. I do feel a gnawing sorrow sometimes. I didn’t do that one great glorious film by which I’d be remembered forever. But hey, I did a lot of other things that got me immense recognition, including a talk show which is being emulated by all and sundry. It’s very flattering.”

Vaibhav Choudhary