Movie Reviews

Jumanji 2 Movie Review: It Is  Adventure For Morons!

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Jack Black, Kevin  Hart,  Karen Gillan

Directed  by Jake Kasdan

Rating: 0 stars

This has got to be the  most cretinous and  annoying film of 2017. That it is raking in the greenbacks  just goes to show that the taste of moviegoers  everywhere has degenerated  to a sacrilegious  low. Never have  cinematics  aesthetic hit rockbottom  with such a thud.

Jumanji 2  is  the Golmaal  of  American entertainment  with Dwayne Jonhson  sportingly indulging in  the team spirit with the less known  actors.Sadly Dwayne can’t act.

Not that the  film requires anything more than Mr  Johnson muscle power.  It is crass and pointless to the degree you question that financial resources  and the intellectual faculties of the  studio that backs such poop-in-cinema.

 I’ve a seldom seen  more intellectually backrupt offering thanJumanji 2.It’s got a bunch of complete  non-actors pretending to have fun as they enter the world of a video game with no idea of what lies in  store.

I suspect the  script writers too are clueless as to where they should go with this muck-spilling  adventure saga where  everything that glitters is old. Weathern-worn clichés  about  youngsters acquiring a sudden transformation of body and even gender swarm the film like flies hovering over a basket of sweets.

 One of the films’s dimwitted squad  of heroes transform from a phone-obsessed female teenager  into a middleaged  man. This gives the  narrative an occasion to indulge in a train of penis jokes which are as tiresome for us to see as  they must have been  for the film’s principal actors  to  perform.

Everyone acts  as though his or her life depended on it.The special effects guys have an orgy at the producers’ expense. The stunts are absurdly over-the-top. In one chase sequence the  protagonists flee on a helicopter while they  are  hunted down by a bunch of rhinos. We could easily make out that  plane  was  ‘flying’ on the studio floor. The action is so tackily done  it makes  our Baahubali look like a  David Lean  film.

 The film is shot in an Amazonian greenspace where the actors get to speak the most preposterous lines  with  a conviction that comes naturally when you know you are not being judged . This film is purely for a  juvenile viewership. I strongly recommend a ban on such cheap imported films that serve no purpose  except to make the audience feel intellectually superior to the material being served up.

Save  yourself the torture. Just avoid.

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