London Confidential Is The Funniest Comedy Of The Year

London Confidential(Zee5)

Starring  Purab Kohli, Mouni Roy

Directed by Kanwal Sethi

Rating: * ½

  The most  honest line in this  weird   and intentionally hilariously London mock-tale  comes from Mohan Kapur  who  barks  on  the  internet, “This is a  bloody  unmitigated  disaster.”

 Indeed! There  is  no  other  way to describe London  Confidential than an  unmitigated disaster. It is  the  funniest comedy  of the year , when it’s meant to be an espionage thriller. I  was excited to see the well know crime  crime author F Hussain Zaidi’s name in  the credits. But  after seeing how the  film has turned out Zaidi  must be seriously  considering  suing the makers.

I don’t know  about Zaidi. But  I am. At least I should report this tortuous unintelligible trash to the  SPCA, the Society to Prevent Cruelty to Audience. What could be  more tortuous than to see Mouni Roy as a pregnant  Indian intelligence  officer investigating an imminent   Chinese virus attack in London.

No no  not THAT virus, A  new one, The Chinese are apparently  harvesting a chain of viruses, one after another. And  it is up to our “intelligence”  officers(trapped in tale  severely devoid of a shred of intelligence) Arjun(Purab Kohli) and Uma(Mouni Roy) to track down the culprits  before it is toolate.

There are Chinese characters roaming around London. I’ve no clue ….who’s who…or  Hu is Hui, as it happens to be.

 The dialogues except, the great prophetic  line by Mohan Kapur quoted  earlier, all sound like they are saying something important  about national security and how the Chinese need to be watchec carefully.

“Maine Wong ko warn  kiya ttha,” is one of the gems. The Chinese cast looks  uneasy, as though they took on the  job  to earn a few extra bucks.But the best performance comes from Purab Kohli’s manbun .Kohli himself seems supremely  disinterested in the goings-on,as though he gave up trying to make sense  of the script. Mouni Roy  looks like she never even tried,

 There  is an Indian commissioner(Kulraj Randhawa, the  only member of the cast who actually looks involved) whose  husband is cheating on her, a High Commission employee  honeytrapped  ina gay  relationship, and  yes,  Mouni Roy’s husband  on  video conference played by Sharad Kelkar who keeps telling his wife to look after  herself.

She is  okay. But who will look after the audience trapped  into watching a film that  must have made sense  at some point of time. At the moment  London Confidential is , in Mohan Kapur’s words, an  unmitigated  disaster.