Don’t puke. This season’s awards functions are still not over. After the one that we saw being telecast on Sunday in Dubai there is another one all set to be unleashed in Madrid in June.So that’s one more all-expenses paid holiday for all our stars.
I am told by awards organizers that stars demand extra tickets and hotel rooms for awards function abroad for their relatives, domestic help, friends and even pet dogs.But all is acceptable if one gets the superstars to grace the occasion.
The TOIFA award was painful on two counts. It came after a series of same-to-same awards functions. More importantly, it had nothing new to offer. Even the hosts Riteish Deshmukh and Manish Paul seemed desperate for laughs.The desperation showed up loud and clear when Varun Dhawan and Manish Paul performed a ‘seduction dance’ for Mr Bachchan in the audience.
Just what the joke meant was hard to decipher .Mr B certainly didn’t seem amused. I guess he bore through the crass ‘entertainment’ as he he was being given another lifetime achievement award. Yes, one more !
Other endless ennui-inducing ‘jokes’ that pretty much occupied the entire awards-season space include Parineeti’s weight loss.All through the awards season there were references to her miraculous makeover. One function even gave her an award for losing weight, prompting the outraged Rishi Kapoor to wonder why he hasn’t got an award for losing weight.
The other constant all through the season was Ranveer Singh collecting Deepika Padukone’s award ( besides of course his own). Curiously the no-personal-questions stance dropped magically on stage each time Ranveer collected Deepika’s best-actress trophy at the awards functions. The thank you speech on behalf of Deepika at TOIFA was very revealing.
“I am very lucky to have such a woman by my side,” Ranveer said.Since Deepika was not standing next to Ranveer we can only interpret his statement in the wider context.
The one truly bright spot in this cheerless show of strength was Shah Rukh Khan who was in his element teasing Jacqueline Fernandes and Parineeti Chopra. When the two girls spotted Sanjay Leela Bhansali on stage they pitched their services for acting in his cinema .
After admonishing them for inopportune self-advancement Shah Rukh turned to Bhansali to suggest they work together.Ha ha.
He pretended to forget who Fernandes was and congratulated her for Prem Ratan Dhan Payo (cut to Salman Khan pretending to look amused in the audience). And when Kabir Khan came on stage Shah turned to Fernandes to remind her she had worked with him in Ek Tha Tiger.
When Fernandes with gritted teeth reminded SRK that was Katrina he turned around to ask, “You mean you are not Katrina?”
Good one, Shah Rukh. Considering all the heroines were doing just about the same thing over and over again all through the awards season. By the end of it I didn’t care whether that was Katrina or Jacqueline.
Katrina and Ranbir Kapoor were conspicuous by their absence throughout the awards season