10 Things We Don’t Want To See These Actors Do In 2017

Weren’t you tired of watching Bollywood wallahs doing the same thing repeatedly in 2016? Whether they did it out of habit , humility or to create hype it was plainly annoying to see  the same game being played from various angles. Here are the ones we would like to see avoided in 2017

1. Priyanka Chopra’s shifting accent: It’s become a bit of a joke, really. In every interview she gave  on American television channel Priyanka Chopra sported a different “American” accent each time. So my ardent prarthama to pyari Priyanka: please find one American accent in 2017, and stick to it.
2. Ranveer Singh’s monkey tricks: Life is a bitch. But the world is not a zoo. Everywhere that Ranveer went he created  his own private circus. The clothes, demeanour, his  ceaseless chatter on topics that don’t matter they all screamed for attention . And yet Ranveer talked about wanting his privacy. So make up your mind, Ranveer-e-mizaz, do you want your circus or your privacy? In 2017 you can’t have both.
3. Yo Yo Honey Singh’s comeback:  He is back! He is back? Is he? Honey, you coming? Throughout the year he kept threatening to come back. But apart from a few feeble songs that died without a whimper and a lead in a Punjabi film Zoraawarwhich hardly made him another Diljit Dosanjh, Yo Yo’s career remains suspended in a limbo. Coming year, get out there and reclaim your fame. You still have it in you.
4. Mallika Sherawat attacked: She was hounded by the paparazzi in Patiala , attacked by terrorists in Paris, accosted by fans in Tunisia, chased by goons in Greece…for God’s sake. Is this an actress or a global ambulance? Will Ms Sherawat please make up her mind whether she wants to be  known as a star-chaser(who specializes in clicking selfies with celebrities) or a star who is perpetually chased?Waiting for your decision.
5. Kangana Ranaut’s  I-am-an-empowered-woman speeches: This was a busy year for the ravishing Ranaut. No, not in the studios but at at various public events where , using that peculiar accent which is exotic to some plainly exasperating to others, she spoke about what it means to be a willful woman in a world of deceptive horny men…At least , that’s what we heard her saying. Can’t be sure. Half the time her words made no sense. In the year to come, how about hiring a more coherent speech writer?
6. Twinkle Khanna’s fearless authorship: Much as we loved Mrs Funnybones’ fearless writings and prounouncements on profound topics such as her husband’s “extra inches” and Salman Khan walk on that “beaten path”, in 2017 we want her to simmer down for no other reason except that she’s giving star-wives a collective inferiority complex. “Yeh biwi kaun se chakki ka aata khati hai?” asks one star wife. Arreybaba, chakki nahin Akki.
7. Rishi Kapoor twitter rant:  In 2016 Rishi Kapoor caused so much havoc with his doughty tweets that we hear Mrs Neetu Kapoor has decided to confiscate his phone on 2017. A  better idea would be to ration Rishirants  after each peg. Or better still ration the pegs.
8. Sonu Sood’ s Jackie Chan salespitch:  Sood Saab did one film with Jackie Chan at the beginning of the year and spent the rest of the year talking about him. Please find something else to discuss in 2017.We are  truly exhausted hearing how much Mr Chan loves you.
9. Sunny Leone’s flop binge:   She is a superstar online. But strangely all her filmnsas a leading lady have flopped miserably in 2016. How about doing a successful film in 2017, if that’s possible?
10. Imran Khan’s putree-prem:  Is Imran Khan a retired actor or a a full-time father?  All he did in 2016 was post adoring pictures and messages on his cute daughter.We love Imran’s  doting daddy’s act during his extended paternity leave. But how about getting back to work in 2017?