The Star Screen Awards, Poorly Scripted Multi-Starrer With Meagre Magnetism

The awards function this season are not even pretending any more to be true mirrors of excellence in the field of cinema. Rather they mirror the vanity of the glitterati who gather to admire one another and applaud one another’s achievements even when they(the achievements) are hardly worth applauding.

At the Star Screen awards telecast as a New Year’e eve special , I couldn’t figure out why  the lovely Rekha was(again)  given the lifetime achievement award. Clearly they’ve run out of candidates for this honour and really, how many times can you give it to Amitabh Bachchan specially when he is still winning the Best Actor award?

So Rekha it was. Her award was preceded by a non-dancer Sonam Kapoor paying a tribute to the Legendary Diva by dancing to her songs.  It was like Sunny Deol paying a dance tribute to his father Dharmendra .When it came to dancing,  Rekha and Dharmendra were no great shakes . But they managed to make their steps look zingy.

Sonam dancing to Salaam-e-ishq meri jaan zara qubool kar lo looked like she was asking for a cup  of  coffee at a breakfast eatery in Paris.Sportingly Rekha joined Sonam on  stage to shower  the terrible  performance with her own life-saving thumkas and jhatkas to the sound of Pardesiya yeh sach hai piya. Blessedly the cameras didn’t scamper to Mr Bachchan’s face to record his responses to Rekha’s dancing.

Not that the cameras were prone to discretion.There were a lot of very cheap made-for-television moments during the show. The same shots of the sections of the audience raising their hands in the air and grooving to the stage performances which  were very obviously recorded separate from the function. How else could Sonam complete her ‘Rekha’ performance and then be on the stage in the very next shot in another saree for an award?

If  we wanted to see real dancing there was Tiger Shroff…I mean, wow, Man!  The guy moved on the stage  like  a tightly wound torpedo rapidly firing its ammunition on an unsuspecting audience who didn’t know what hit them.

At the end of his performance Tiger pulled Sushant Singh Rajput and Varun Dhawanfrom the audience for a  bit of Beat pe booty.

Well, beat that!

I hope you savoured that moment. It was downhill all the way from there with Karan Johar’s rapidfire with Deepika Padukone hitting rock –bottom, the stress being  on ‘bottom’. Karan Johar as we all know, loves making gay jokes on television and live shows. Deepika  joined in with some risque remarks which came  out of her pretty mouth sounding like  a pubescent girl who has just read 50 Shades Of Grey and is blushing purple and giggling over the dirty bits.

This is as opportune a moment as any to reveal that the superstarry anchoring of  Shah Rukh Khan and [tooltip id="c1b465420d07c688942ed18eadfd9f92" keyword_color="#000000" background_color="#ffffff"][tooltip id="4db8f5608d45f5de7881d9bce162f4bf"]Salman Khan">[/tooltip][/tooltip] was a total wash-out. The script sucked. Apparently they insisted on writing their lines themselves.The repercussions were sobering. The results were there for everyone to see.

The two bantered about their friendship gone sour making light of it by claiming they fought (in 2008 at Katrina Kaif’s birthday party) when Shah Rukh said he  liked going home because he had a wife waiting for him and that Salman liked going home because he had no wife waiting for him Giggle.

Wife jokes? Really??? I S Johar and Shatrughan Sinha got there long before. The Khan superstars went a step further with their goodnatured sexism with Shah Rukh saying, “I told Salman I liked going home to me laadli(daughter). Salman said he had many laadlis waiting for him.”

They then watched a clip  from their film Karan Arjun and pretended  to weep.

Hamming just got more trendy. Wish we could say the same  about the credibility  of awards functions.It just plummeted further.

Show Rating: **

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