

Bollywood Movie Reviews
Uunchai, Not Quite The Dizzying Heights, But Special
Uunchai
Starring Amitabh Bachchan, Anupam Kher, Boman Irani, Danny Denzongpa, Parineeti Chopra, Neena Gupta and Sarika
Directed by Sooraj Barjatya
Rating: ***
The aging protagonists aspire to travel only to the foothills of the Himalayas.The film too doesn’t aim for the summit, but is happy to be grounded cosily somewhere at the foothills as long as the footfalls are there.
Uunchai certainly deserves an audience. For all its flaws of wheezing pacing and panting drama it is nonetheless a film that comes from the heart,although I must admit it doesn’t really stir up a storm of emotions in the audience. But yes,it is touching if you are a sucker for cinema on lifelong friendships and unconditional loyalty.
Mr Bachchan logistically takes pride of place, as Amit Shrivastava(the surname is the Bachchans’ actual passport identification). Amit is a successful author who sells fake gyan to the multitudes.
“Sudhro,” warns idealistic friend Bhupen(Danny Denzongpa) and then promptly dies.
Bhupen three best friends, played by Bachchan, Kher and Irani now decide to take a trek to the base of the Himalayas. Writer Abhishek Dixit(based on story by Sunil Gandhi) has his art in the right place. But he chokes it up with too many back stories for every character so that the film at 170 minutes feels like marathon run for the elderly which becomes an ordeal for the spectators once the participants lose their energy.
One subplot in Gorakhpur about Anupam’s ungrateful ancestors(featuring Kher’s brother) cribbing endlessly about haveli repairs and rising costs should have been taken out on the editing table. And pray tell, which daughter tells her visiting parents and their close friends to f…k off since her birthday guests would feel uncomfortable? These are characters that needed not only polishing up but also a vigorous shake by the shoulders . They are so unidimensional they belong in an animation film.
Another weird plot twist: why should Bhupen’s friends be upset with the love of his life(Sarika) for abandoning him? This is quite what Neena Gupta rightly describes as overstepping the line of friendship.
Neena Gupta’s marital bonding with Boman Irani comes across as very real and endearing. This, I suspect is more to do with the two actors’ skills than anything else. By the time the plot reaches the Himalayas we are as exhausted as the protagonists.
These are identifiable people who deserved a more compact and incisive plot, not this meandering road trip which seems to been constructed like building blocks in a child’s hands .
Nonetheless Uunchai has a sufficient heart to make it a special film.But it could have been much more special with more skilled writing.
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Pathaan Is A Slick Spin On SRK’s Stardom

Pathaan Movie Review: There is no reason why any review of Shah Rukh Khan’s Pathaan(directed by Siddharth Anand but it’s an SRK showcase all the way) needs to be written. The two-and-a-half hour eruption of stylish action will be seen at least once by every movie patron in India, and then of course out West where Sharon Stone, I believe, has already bought bulk tickets for the entire weekend for her friends, family, fans and househelp .
Cast
Shah Rukh Khan as Pathaan, a RAW agent
John Abraham as Jim, a rogue agent turned leader of ‘Outfit X’
Deepika Padukone as Rubina Mohsin, a ISI agent
Ashutosh Rana as Colonel Sunil Luthra
Manish Wadhwa as General Qadir
Dimple Kapadia
Siddhant Ghegadmal
Gautam Rode
Gavie Chahal
Shaji Choudhary
Diganta Hazarika as an ally of Pathaan
Salman Khan as Tiger/Avinash Sing Rathore (cameo appearance)
Directed by Siddharth Anand
Rating: *** ½
Pathaan is a very slick action film. The stunts leave us open mouthed , like Sharon Stone when she saw SRK pass by.
We get to see Shah Rukh Khan more than just pass by in the title role. He is all there muscled and armed ready to take on the world to protect his country. There is a lot of stress in the rippling writing on how patriotic ‘Pathaan’ is. And if we consider the fact that the audiences do not separate the character from the actor when it comes to Salman or Shah Rukh, then the dialogues on nationalism(by Abbas Tyrewala) make a lot of sense.
The political undertones(Article 370 is the triggering point for the bullet bath) are not to be missed. The director won’t let you.
Speaking of Salman and Shah Rukh their Karan-Arjun kinship in their sequence together is winsomely rugged. Most of the film is designed to give Indian fans of Shah Rukh Khan and action cinema a run for their money.
Director Siddharth Anand has a fairly firm grip over a plot that goes all over the place. Not that there is much of it to go anywhere. The screenplay is slinky skeletal and not epic in intent content or impact. But there is always a sense of urgency built into the goings-on. So that we never get a chance to get distracted.
On the other hand, the unfolding of the surprises in the plot is a bit like doing a Santa on a child who already knows about the Christmas gifts hidden under the bed.
Visually, Pathaan is a feast of fury. The fights especially between Shah Rukh and John Abraham(the latter as a seething terrorist grits his teeth so hard we fear for his teeth) are virile and boisterous. The sound decibel drowns out all subtlety.
But then who is in this for tact? Be prepared for your senses to be attacked.
Pathaan Premise
Pathaan, an exiled RAW field operative is assigned to take down his old nemisis named Jim, a former RAW agent turned rogue, who leads “Outfit X”, a private terrorist organization, which is planning to spread a deadly virus dubbed “Raktbeej” across India.
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An Action Hero, Fastpaced Funny & Spot-On

An Action Hero
Starring Ayushmann Khurrana, Jaideep Ahlawat
Written & Directed by Anirudh Iyer
Rating: *** ½
There is something delectably different about this mass entertainer. It is neatly plotted and to-the-point. It avoids the bullshit element in mass entertainment. The eponymous Action Hero Ayushmann Khurrana has no family or girlfriend waiting for him after the shooting.
Where does Maadhav come from? Why does he have a British passport(why not a Canadian passport?) if not to escape swiftly after he accidently kills a Haryanvi goon? The slayed goon(menacingly played by Sumit Singh)is well connected.It can’t get any better than Jaideep Ahlaway, can it?
In London, Ahlawat’s Bhoora Solanki is shown to be ruthless in his pursuit of justice for his brother.And yet he lets Maanav slip out of his hands, not once but repeatedly.
A secret fan, perhaps? The breathless plot allows no room for back-story speculation. It is all done in the spirit of a super-heist, without the ransom. The film is enjoyable most of the way except for some major diversions. The subplot about a restaurateur Sai(Neeraj Madhav) doesn’t fit in.It’s the kind of character that pops up in a long-running television serial. Also the entire track about the dreaded international don(modelled on you-know-who) is so out of its depth it feels more like an afterthought than an organic part of the plot.
That said, there is plenty to enjoy in An Action Hero. Both Khurrana and Ahlawat are in revved-up form. They play against each most effectively, almost like a on-the-run Tom and a persistent Jerry . The plot should have focused on them.
The comments on media trial and the demonization of Bollywood are hilarious.This is a clever intelligent film that sometimes trips over in self-admiration but manages to stay afloat most of the way.
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Monica O My Darling , The Twisted Tormented World Of Vasan Bala

Monica, O My Darling(Netflix)
Directed by Vasan Bala
Rating: ****
Somewhere in the acquisitive amoral chaos of Vasan Bala’s twisted kingdom, Rajkummar Rao and Huma Qureshi, playing two of the most shamelessly self-serving jerks in recent cinematic history, are down on the floor, wrestling with an Usha Uthup pretender singing ‘Loving You So Much I Want To Kill You.’
Yes, physically wrestling, until one of them is almost dead.
It is a deliciously demonic moment defining the gender-proof nature of human greed. When you are so money-minded that your conscience has gone for a call of nature, then be prepared to battle it out man-to-man , even if you are a woman.
Alas, such delightfully epiphanic moments are hard to come by in Vasant Bala’s first directorial deep-dive since Mard Ko Dard Nahin into the bowels of eccentricity. Playing a dude who doesn’t feel any physical pain no matter how hard to blow Abhimanyu Dassani was at once wicked and amiable in Mard Ko Dard….
Rajkummar Rao as Jayant a small-town boy from Angola working in a giant robot-manufacturing organization in Mumbai is much more wimpy, partially demonic, partially a victim of fate…if Fate looks anything like Huma Qureshi who plays Monica a crooked femme fatale a squealer-dealer in pursuit of big bucks via big …never mind.
Qureshi’s Monica is a delectably subverted femme fatale.An imposter Marilyn Monroe who lets the skirt fly only when she is sure there are men looking.Somehow I felt Ms Qureshi fell short of the character’s brazen avarice.Her cabaret at the beginning of the film again proves after that limp item song in Gangubai Kathiawadi that she better leave the dancing to those better equipped.
Her performance as a woman who empowers herself by conning men is tonally correct, but unable to scale the summits of seductive salvation it was written to. Radhika Apte as a gritty sarcastic cop nails it. It’s interesting to see how the women in poor Jayant’s life bully him: Qureshi at first, then Apte and then of course the bimbo esque boss’ daughter played with an arresting airheadedness by Akansha Ranjan Kapoor.
Monica O My Darling has a sharp tangy taste to its storytelling . But it eventually gets tangled in its own ambitions. It wants to be dark sexy voluptuous enigmatic satire, but lacks the wherewithal to leap over the plotting hurdles that impede the protagonist Jayant’s progression from a harmless smalltown dreamer to a scheming rat.
Rao is dependably strong in his weak character. There are other extremely powerful actors like the underused Sikandar Kher, Sukant Goel and Bagavathi Perumal . Two of these men are being blackmailed by Monica. She is clearly a threat , to herself. Ditto the film. Monica O My Darling wants to give the conscience-free female lead a sense of Huma.
But she is clearly not up to it.
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Phone Bhoot Propagates Primitivism, Fanaticism & Dimwittedness

Phone Bhoot
Rating: * 1/2
There is too little of everything in Phone Bhoot except the two bratty boys Siddhant Chaturvedi and Ishaan(he has dropped the ‘Khattar’ in his name) who are all over the place like two bad viruses. For long patches Katrina Kaif vanishes: she has every right to since she plays a bhoot. Must be the most chic ghost in town . We only have to see poor Sheeba Chadha’s makeup and scruffy look to know why Katrina did this film.
She just wanted to show the world how pretty a ghost can be. Thank you for that.
And there ends my sarcasm laden praise for this eerie abomination…eerie and funny is what it aims at. Dreary and phony is what we get in Phone Bhoot, a film so devoid of any merit that you wonder why it was made in the first film. Born out of a desperate sense of urgency to score a win, the film tries to be a Stree on speed. Instead it ends up being a witchcraft tale with no head or tail
Jokes include a headless head of security of Jackie Shroff’s staff . Shroff plays Atmarama a dreaded satanic presence who is more farcical than fearsome.The jokes are so labored that they are repeated twice so we get it. The whole film is joke, though not in the way it was intended to be.
I wish I could say there is more chemistry between the two boys Chaturvedi and Ishaan then there is among the boys and Katrina. That would be untrue. The two boys excel only at showing us who can make more faces on camera. Chaturvedi wins hands down. It is tragic to see the once-promising Gully Boy reduced to this insufferable ham .
Ishaan(sans Khattar) is more subdued and controlled. But we can see the struggle to remain sober is constantly thwarted by the loud screechy bhoot-pret-atma nonsense that unfurls in front of Khattar. As for Katrina,if this is all the film industry has to offer the pretty actress, just check out.
Phone Bhoot thinks it is the meta screen provider for generations that have NOT grown up on Chanda Mama and Amar Chitra Katha stories. The idea is to give a groovy cool spin to grandma’s tales. But it doesn’t work. The endeavour is not only insincere but blissfully blind to propagating blind faith.
From primitivism to paganism to heretic mumbo jumbo, where is Hindi cinema heading in pursuit of that elusive success?This is the same production house which has given us milestones like Dil Chahta Hai and Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara? Is success so vital that you sell your soul to the devil?
Interestingly I saw Sourabh Shukla’s name in the credit titles for associate director or something. I guess the mess was foreseen.
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