36 Farmhouse: Aparna Sen Should Sue  Subhash Ghai

36 Farmhouse(Zee5)

Starring Vijay Raaz, Sanjay Mishra  Madhuri  Bhatia, Amol Parasher,  Barkha Singh, Ashwini Kalsekar, Flora Saini

Directed by Ram Ramesh Sharma

Rating: 0 stars

“Chutiyon  se bhara padaa hai yeh ghar,” Vijay Raaz observes midway through this mishmash of  the worse and the worst. That Subhash Ghai should come to this is a tragedy of Shakespearean  proportions.

 Not that  anyone in this , hands-down  Ghai’s  worst production to  date, has ever heard of Shakespeare. The  characters are  a bunch of  buffoons and clowns , titivated  with no redeeming  qualities except that they can keep a straight face  even when confronted with one  of  the dumbest most witless  screenplays  that  actors  have ever been given to read ever seen the  motion picture was  invented.

If Lumiere were to see what  his dream has come  to , he would slash his  wrist.

Did  actors like Vijay Raaz and Sanjay Mishra actually read  the script before saying yes to this cretinous  concoction ? Or were they so  desperate  for work during these  trying times?Both the seasoned  actors bring nothing to  the  table;not their fault:  there is  nothing to bring on the  table.

Raaz plays a crooked  avaricious  son to a  Rani Maa kind of  matriarch who ran out of steam about 30 years ago in films like Suraj and  Raj Tilak. Madhuri Bhatia who plays  Rani Maa has a certain regal air about her—she  was  part of Subhash Ghai’s Pardes where played  a similar  hoity-toity Rani Maa.

Time seems  to have  frozen for this actress. Sadly  the  rest of the  plot and cast  also seem  to be stuck in  a time warp.Nothing makes  sense,least of  all the reason to make this humiliating  film: humiliating to  every  artiste  from Subhash Ghai to Ashwini  Kalsekar  who has  contributed to  the brainless nihility  of  this  brackish  brew buoyed by a    borderline brainlessness cooked up  by what seems to be  a lobotomized  team.

 Speaking of cooking Sanjay Mishra plays a cook who is  more of  a crook. He  is  a migrant  during lockdown  who detours into Rani Maa’s palace where Vijay Raaz   a  new-age  avatar of yesteryears’ slimy  badman  Jeevan,   is  playing a  game that would put Kans Mama  to shame.

  The Corona references are constantly thrown into the  frying pan. Sadly someone  forgot to light the stove. 36 Farmhouse is  a DOA  product. Good actors  like Amol Pareshar(playing an affable  pandemic migrant  named Harry) and Flora Saini(playing Vijay Raaz’s  hormonally  rushed  sister-in-law) struggle to make sense  of  a plot that has more  holes than Swiss cheese.

And then,to name the  film after Aparna Sen’s  36 Chowringhee Lane is  adding insult to insult. Forget injury. The  product is  too dumb to hurt anyone.