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Jonas Brothers Family Roast:  Sorry Priyanka,  But Jack Whitehall Was Better

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Jonas  Brothers Family Roast(Netflix)

For reasons too obvious to  state, Priyanka Chopra  Jonas(now  simply Priyanka)  got the maximum  media  coverage in India for the  Jonas family’s  Roast.

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Priyanka, with a thick American accent , did a good job of jabbing the Jonas brothers,  specially  her husband  Nick, whom she called “Kevin  Jonas’ Baby brother.”  She also went  on  to comment on  why  they are so compatible  as  a couple: they  both love the same  person Nick Jonas.

Ha ha. As for rumours of their rift(just because  Priyanka  dropped   Jonas  from her name) Priyanka clearly states  at the Roast she has no intentions of breaking the marriage  unless Chris Hemsworth shows up in her life.  “We’re both totally, completely, wholly obsessed with Nick Jonas. We love Nick Jonas, both of us. He’s our favourite. I wouldn’t want to marry anyone else unless Chris Hemsworth suddenly became single.”

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She  topped  the Roast  with  a toast  to her own stardom.  “Have you noticed how much content the Jonas Brothers post online? They are forever on Instagram, always on the phone – it’s cute. I’ll tell you why – all of them combined have less followers than me. So I guess the most popular Jonas is – @Priyanka Chopra on Instagram.”

The downer was  the cheap shot about “expecting” …pause…to get drunk after the  roast.

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A  toast to  our  Indian dost  Priyanka for a  rousing roast. However  the  best roaster of the evening was  British comedian Jack Whitehall. Calling himself a ‘Jonaholic’  Whitehall went on to  call  Nick Jonas ‘The Meghan Markle of   pop’ for breaking up the  Jonas Brothers at one point of time.Whitehall also confessed that he was a celibate  in his early years just like the Jonas brothers(who were  under contract with Disney to avoid girls) because,  the minute  Whitehall told girls he liked the “mindnumbingly  bland”   music of Jonas Brothers, they ran away.

By the time  Whitehall announced he wanted to  give the Jonas Brother’s father’s testicles  a Grammy for  contribution to music, I was  roaring with  laughter.

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More than anything else , The  Jonas Brothers Family Roast proves  we Indians can  never  do a ‘roast’ with celebrities. We   don’t have  the sense  of humour to handle it. In  2015  the All India  Bakchod(vulgarity  most intended) hosted  an infamous Bollywood roast with Karan Johar,  Ranveer Singh, Arjun Kapoor,  critic  Rajeev Masand and others. They are still wrangling with various  court cases that were slapped on them.

AIB  had to eventually shut down. In contrast , the Jonases were roasted with such  raunchy relish!Even Kevin  Jonas’ wife Danielle took lurid  potshots at her husband , stating as she  did without fear  of a backlash, that the couple’s two daughters were  born  in the ‘traditional  way’ after  she slept with the milkman.

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Touche.

Before Roast host Kenan Thompson could  get over that one, Daniella congratulated her husband  for his massive….no,  not the ego. That  was demolished with devilish  delight  by all the roasters on the roster  that  rollicking raunchy evening when Priyanka(sans Chopra Jonas) let her hair down.

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Why On  Earth Is Sushmita Sen Smoking A Cigar In Aarya’s First  Look?

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Aarya

Season 3  of Aarya is being shot as  you read this, and naturally Sushmita Sen is  super-kicked about it, so kicked that she has put  out a  video where she is seen  in the  best Lady Boss version of herself.

Alarmingly, she is seen puffing away at a  cigar, to  complete her Badass Lady Boss image.

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 There was a  time when women smoking  cigarettes  in Hindi cinema signaled vampishness. If a female actor was  shown smoking it meant she had evil designs  over the  hero, and life in general.

 Sushmita being Sushmita, a cigarette won’t do. A  cigar it is, to go with her formidable image. The last Bollywood actor I saw smoking a cigar  on screen was Premnath in the 1970s. Back then so  many  people didn’t die of cancer  by smoking.

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 These are  different far more dangerous  and deadly times.

Sushmita is an iconic  actor.She  needs to be more careful about the image  she projects . Smoking  a  cigar doesn’t  enhance a woman’s(or a  man’s) muscle power. Nor does it make her look cool.

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About shooting for the third season of Aarya  Sushmita says, “Aarya is synonymous with my name.  I have lived as Aarya for two whole seasons and the love received by the audiences has only encouraged me to do more. Walking on the sets of Aarya Season 3 makes me feel at home and gives me  a sense of empowerment. I’m grateful to the entire team at Disney+ Hotstar, Ram Madhvani Films and Endemol Shine India for the vision of creating Aarya and taking it to newer heights with every season.”

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Shah Rukh, Deepika, John Will Meet The Media  On Monday At 4 pm(But There’s  A Catch)

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Pathaan

Pathaan has effectually discredited the  efficacy  of media interactions to promote  a  film. The  film’s lead actors Shah Rukh  Khan, Deepika Padukone  and John Abraham did not conduct any  press or portal interviews  to  promote the  film.

And  yet Pathaan  is  a blockbuster.

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 This  weekend  the Pathaan producer Aditya  Chopra  of  Yash Raj Films  took a call on behalf  of  the Pathaan team  to do one media  meet at the Taj Land’s End in Mumbai  on Monday January 30 at 4 pm.

The  three principal actors  and  director Siddharth Malhotra  will address  the  media.

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 But  here’s the catch: the media will not be allowed to ask any questions. There will be no  Q& A s or  one-on-one  interactions.This  basically means that the  Pathaan  team will  have an opportunity to  say what it wants  to the media. But the  media will have no say.

Make what  you will of this  one-way traffic.

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A  source close  to Yash Raj informs  me that this is  the   pattern  regarding the media that  Yash Raj will follow for  future  releases: no  press meets  no promotional  engagements.

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Fake Projects of Pathaan Director Being Planted In Media

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Pathaan

Siddharth Anand Denies Considering  Any Project With  Deepak Mukut

A  word of caution to those marketing and publicity wizkids  who think  it’s okay to  plant fake stories  on (fake) projects  with the Pathaan director.

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 It is  not.

Such baseless announcements  are meant only to  raise  the equity  of the  producers  with whom Siddharth   Anand’s name is  linked. One  such  producer whose name  has cropped up after the  spectacular success of  Pathaan is  Deepak Mukut.

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There were  reports  everywhere that Siddharth Anand’s next would  be with Mukut.

Turned out to be a false rumour.

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A  source in the  know informs, “Siddharth now has to complete Fighter  starring Hrithik Roshan and  Deepika Padukone  for Yash Raj.Then  he  is   committed to direct the sequel to War 2 for  Yash Raj films.  They will then start  work on the  next film in the Pathaan  franchise. There is no scope  or  room for any outside  projects  for Siddharth Anand. So every announcement  that  you read of a  new film  to be  directed by Siddharth Anand  for an  outside  producer is likely to  be  a hundred  percent fake.”

When I asked Siddharth Anand  about the  supposed project  with  producer Deepak Mukut he promptly replied,  “NOT AT ALL.”

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Pink Director’s Next  Featuring Yami As A Crime Reporter To Stream From February 16

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Yami

Anniruddha Roy  Chowdhury whose  Pink  featuring Amitabh Bachchan and Taapsee Pannu was one of  the  most important  films of  2016, is all set to  release his  next  Hindi film.

Entitled LostAnniruddha’s film , based on true  events, will see Yami Gautam Dhar(that’s  what the actress calls herself after her marriage)  as a crime journalist. LOST is an emotional social thriller that represents a higher quest, a search for lost values of empathy and integrity.

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Inspired by true events, Lost is a story of a bright young woman crime reporter in her relentless search for the truth behind the sudden disappearance of a young theatre activist.

Lost

Lost

Says Aniruddha  “The shoot of LOST has been an incredible journey. I have been eager for the release of our hard-worked venture. The film is a realistic highlight of media in a social context and I am sure that it will give the audience a compelling watch. I am curious about its release and see the responses it shall get. I hope they will welcome it with open hearts.”

Yami Gautam Dhar  who plays  the lead  of  the  crime reporter  says,   “I can’t be happier and more proud of the film’s selection for the opening night at CSAFF. I feel like its one that the people will connect to and will be the one that you cannot miss, especially in the current age and time. I have loved playing this role because it was such a special experience, it allowed me to explore so many layers of emotions as an actor and the entire team has worked really hard on it. I genuinely cannot wait for the film’s release, especially to see the reactions of the audience to it.”

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The crime investigation  drama boasts a stellar cast. Along with Yami, the film will feature Pankaj Kapur, Rahul Khanna, and an ensemble of younger talent, including Neil Bhoopalam, Pia Bajpai, and Tushar Pandey, in pivotal roles.

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