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Bhoot Police Is So Awful It Make Radhe Look Better

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Saif Ali Khan in Bhoot Police

Bhoot Police (Disney Hotstar)

Director
Pavan Kirpalani
Writers
Kumaar,Priya Saraiya
Cast
Saif Ali Khan,Arjun Kapoor,Yami Gautam
Plot
An unlikely pair of two ghostbusters – one, who will any day take sex and booze over catching ghosts, and the other who goes by the book – is assigned to hunt and eradicate supernatural forces in a remote village.
Rating: *

Bhoot Police (Disney Hotstar): Setting aside all the cautiously  positive  reviews, all sponsored, how bad is  Bhoot Police? It’s hard to say.  This work touches such  unscaled  peaks  of dumbness that one is  at a loss  for words.

Descriptions like, awful and mediocre  would  just about touch the  tip of  the  tale’s woeful  inadequacy. If I say it was unbelievably bad, I’d only be talking about Saif Ali Khan who  tries  so hard to be funny, it’s scary. In fact I could write a whole thesis on  Mr Khan’s ‘Bihari’ accent, Being from Bihar I am yet to hear  anyone speak like that.

Bhoot Police is filled with  such never-before sights and  sounds.  …Like  A Chudail belching profanity like Linda Blair ,  like Saif trying to  mimic Rajkummar Rao in Stree  and failing miserably,or  Arjun Kapoor  puking into  a  holy earthen pot while Saif holds it for him, or…never mind! This  pointless  illustration of the  horror-comedy that neither  horrifies  nor amuses can go on  all day, and we would still not  be able to do justice to the  plot holes and  storytelling absurdities.

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When we  first  meet brothers  Vibhu(Khan) and Chiku(Kapoor) they are seen exorcizing a ‘possessed’ woman. We soon realize  Bhoot Police is the  kind  of ‘possessed’ horror-comedy where  horror and comedy can easily exchange  places, none would be any the wiser…

Not that wisdom counts for anything in a film as witless and  wimpish as this. There is not one moment in Bhoot Police that can be considered even remotely inspired. Saif Ali Khan, in his  career’s worst performance(yes beating  even  his early  performances  in Aashiq Awara  and Aao Pyar Karen) hams his way through  scenes that were probably  pitched to him as  funny.

They are  nothing of the sort.Khan and Kapoor play off  one  another  like  the  Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels in Dumb & Dumber positioning themselves as the dumbest. Kapoor believes in ghosts, Khan feels it’s all makebelieve. They spend all the  footage  arguing  whether ghosts exist or not.We can promise you  there are no ghosts if  you promise not to make  such tediously trippy  films about them.

Oh,  before I forget Jacqueline Fernandez  and Yami Gatam  play the non-believer and the believer’s girlfriends. They are hardly in the film. When they are around the two boyfriends  look at them like  juicy chicken legs.

Succulent  moments are hard  to come by in this conjob,  a full-blown  compendium of  cockiness and creepiness where the  scares are just not there. And  the comedy is funny only when you are in the mood for  laughter at any cost.Even two canines copulating on the road  amuse some.For those of us  who are  a little  more  demanding Bhoot Police offers  some  hope . Things can only  get better  from here.

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